The only healthy thing for both, once it’s clear he’s made his decision, is for the woman to "tell" him goodbye "and go." This of course is hard as hell, and nearly impossible for some.But it's the only choice that can eventually be made, and take it from one who has been there and done that, the woman is better off breaking contact as soon as possible once she has received his unequivocal "no" response.Later, the priest may apologize, and even believe that he is sorry. I could only control my own actions, so I blamed myself the most. X for his schoolboy mentality and the way he handled and justified everything between us.
After a woman lays the situation out for what it is, and gives a necessary ultimatum of either growth in the relationship or an end to it, the priest's first reaction is going to be fear.
Fear of his reputation, his job, his reliance on the Catholic church for his livelihood.
He’s still steeped in the Church’s man-made rule of celibacy and holds himself on the pedestal of Jesus and St. Although receiving an apology may help the woman move toward forgiveness, it’s somewhat irrelevant in the large scheme of things. Because you can forgive a person whether or not he has apologized, and, if he has apologized, it’s questionable whether that was genuine.
Since the relationship and aftermath were largely based on inauthenticity, what’s to say that his apology is genuine, and what’s more, that your forgiveness is genuine?
He masks this with anger, lashes out at the woman frantically, proving his weakness under the shadows of celibacy by trying to exert a false power.
Again, the woman must accept that this is the case, and go through the grieving process. I mean, facing the truth, and eventually understanding why this is his initial reaction.
It is a "death drive" in a literal and personal sense for myself, but universally it means the cycle of euphoria, guilt, chastisement, withdrawal from the situation, addiction to it, and back to euphoria.
Each cycle becoming more intense and more destructive.
We’re always taught by society that we must forgive, we must let go of the grievance, or we can’t begin to heal.