It’s simply unrealistic to expect everyone to do what WE want them to do. If we go on a date and I don’t like them, I’ll normally drop them a text to say so.
You can get upset at me because I defend women who delete men.
Women can get upset at me for making the observation that men generally prefer younger, thinner women.
But if she chooses to focus on a different man without giving you proper closure? To step back and answer your broader question: is my advice fair to both men and women?
I’ll say it is, if only because my primary goal is to get them to understand each other.
He's out with you, he senses you're into him, you've both had a few drinks, the attraction sparks are flying… But rather than that, I'd just open my eyes to the fact that people come and go, and 99% of first dates do NOT result in marriage.
And if that's the case, try not to beat yourself up when it proves to be true in your love life as well.We want to be able to lie about our age, but not have others do it.We want to avoid the discomfort of a “It’s not you, it’s me” conversation, but we want others to put themselves through the same discomfort.On the first page of my book, “Why He Disappeared,” I tell a story of my first online date back in the late 90’s. Or he had someone else in his life who already had his attention. Why all the touchy-feely flirting and kissing, if he’s just not going to follow up or call? It just means that you and he assigned different meanings to a night of kissing.We ate, we drank, we laughed, we got deep, we closed the bar, we made out in the parking lot. That was a great lesson in reading too much into a quality first date. All you know is this: he hasn't called in three weeks, he's not interested enough. Don’t reach out by passive-aggressive text messages (Hey, haven’t heard from you in awhile! That's the big question, the baffling question, the one that drives women mad. Some people assign different meanings to sex, some assign different meanings to a one-year relationship. And you should never be too surprised when you learn that a guy's agenda is different than yours.But in both instances, you’re shooting the proverbial messenger. Instead of complaining that women are rude or that I am unfair, I would say that the best thing to do would be to figure out what YOU can do differently.