I've been referred to as this mythical type of black person who "isn't like the others" — and was expected to take it as a compliment.There are many racists who have no problem going on a date with a black woman and still voicing their racist views, hoping you will make them feel better about them.
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It's racist, and there is a long history of white men sexualizing black women in America, from the days of slavery to now with the way black women are treated as a very specific fetish in pornography.
So when the actual season of The Bachelorette began, Dean almost immediately brought up his comment to Rachel to get a reaction.
This type of behavior is called "moral licensing," or doing something good to excuse bad behavior later.
You might have heard people say "I can't be racist; my friends are black," or "I can't be racist; I voted for Obama." Stanford psychologists found that these sayings are a way for people to show their "moral credentials," and that many of those who vote for Obama felt much more comfortable with voicing their prejudices later.
When it was announced that Rachel Lindsay would be the Bachelorette — the first black woman to take the position — I wondered how the producers would handle it.
I also wondered how it would make the show different, and how it would stay the same.You can imagine the line "I can't be racist; my girlfriend is black" would be very valuable to a person of similar character as well.Sadly, as a black woman, coming across men like Lee isn't uncommon.Lee most likely thinks his opinions on Black Lives Matter are totally warranted and aren't evidence that he hates black people at all.Lee notably tries to come off with an air of politeness by not raising his voice when he says something offensive to Kenny or acting nice to other black men in the house while targeting another to excuse to his racist behavior.Being the only white person in the room is a rarity for most white people, and therefore could be very uncomfortable.